And there's no one to talk to.
I've been having a very hard time putting myself to sleep lately.
I'd like to blame it on my lack of exercise, eating habits, or the warmer temperature of my room.
But honestly, it's just a repulsive uneasiness.
I can't stand it.
I want it gone.
I miss smiling.
I miss laughing.
I miss quality time.
Finals are Thursday.
But I feel like nothing is finally coming to a close.
I feel behind.
I feel failure.
I feel disappointment.
I honestly feel like a complete loser.
I have little to no motivation.
And I'm drained.
I cry.
And could care less.
And cry some more.
Loneliness has consumed every part of me.
And my only rest is in that the Lord is with me.
But I still have trouble embracing that.
A lot of trouble.
I feel like I've lived 30 years in my 20.
I don't feel like any 20 year olds life should feel or be this way.
I see others.
And feel an urge of jealousy.
I'm tired.
And can't sleep.
I'm attempting to distract myself on a continual basis.
But let's face it.
I'm too honest with myself.
Love.